How do I tell my boss 'no'?

A big part of establishing a better work life balance is practising the art of simply saying 'no'. And that also means telling yourself no when it is necessary. If you are anything like me you will have suffered through life as a chronic people pleaser! Always wanting to offer assistance and be the one to help or take on additional projects so that you could prove your worth and finally be recognised for your hard work and sacrifices. I'll let you in on a little secret.... it's a trap!!!!! People pleasing at work often ends in one thing... a build up of internal resentment that most likely gets projected onto to those we love when they ask for something and we explode.

On my journey of self-development, I have come across many great online coaches who have helped to shine a light on my chronic co-dependent tendencies and helped me to work on boundaries (Mark Groves https://createthelove.com/ and Kelsie Grant https://www.instagram.com/radicalselflove/) are two that have had the biggest impact on me personally. You may have your own or will resonate with someone else and that's totally ok.

The reality is, it takes time to change these deeply ingrained habits. My tips to set better boundaries with your work and home life are summarised below, I hope it helps...

• Don't have your work emails on your personal mobile device. The temptation to check and respond to emails during your home/family/free time can quickly take a hold. Include a one liner in your email signature that lets people know the days and times that you work or that you will respond during business hours and keep your commitment to this!

• Leave your phone outside of the room at night. The last hour before we go to sleep is so so important to a good nights rest. Having your phone out of your bedroom removes the temptation to check it and also eliminates those nasty radioactive waves.

• Use essential oils! Grab yourself a diffuser and create a beautiful sleep blend (lavender, cedarwood and vetiver is my fave but there are so many amazing oils and combinations out there).

• If you feel that resentment starting to creep in or work taking over more of your personal life then you care to admit, set up a meeting with your boss. Practise what you want to say and go in gently. When we are burnt out and exhausted there is a risk that we turn up to interactions feeling overwhelmed with anxiety oozing from our pores (energy is everything). Try to have a calm conversation. Explain the importance of your boundaries and let your boss know you need help to prioritise your tasks and can't take on anymore right now. Communication is so crucial to all of our relationships, not just those at work.

• Consider working Part Time or making a request for flexible work arrangements. We all have these rights and an employer can only refuse on reasonable business grounds. Your overall well-being is always worth taking the risk and asking the question. COVID has taught us we can make it work and quickly when needed! There are industries where work from home is not possible (i.e. retail, hospitality etc) however there is always another option. I can work with you to identify your strengths and look at other career or work opportunities that may better suit your lifestyle and ambitions. The possibilities really are endless.

Remember, there is nothing more important than your health and well-being. That email will always be there tomorrow.

Take back control of your life and make a change today.

Mel x